Sadness came as a Blue Tit

Suddenly I can't ignore Sadness : There is a Blue Tit trapped in my ribcage.

La poitrine d'une mésange palpite sous mon sternum.

Sorrow sunk in the emotional echo-chamber of my chest and took the shape of a frightened finch. Pain is most acute in the centre between the breasts, as if a splinter was planted there in Shanzhong. Mas é uma tristeza sem lagrimas. Exhaustion is such that there are no waters to cry. 

I try to calm down the bird with chosen Qi Gong exercises, but it seems to only add confusion. What we want is total stillness.  

Hoje o meu coraçao é chapim azul.

É so aceitar a forma que a pena tem (é so isso).

I lie down on the massage table.

I have grief.  
J'ai de la peine. 
I am tired. 

Je suis fatiguée.

Je respire dans mon ventre, je prends l'oiseau dans mes paumes, je masse au point de l'écharde avec le doigt de Bouddha.

I am grateful for my life and for what my life enables me to do for others and I forgive myself for not having taken care of myself enough lately. I understand there was a necessity and now there is an emergency that is me.

I remember the people I loved with my heart and hands, I understand how I made their sadnesses and anxieties mine to get to the point of it and free them, how some scorias stuck to my skin - my skin is suffering - how they can now be lifted again by re-enchantment or transformed. Bravely I produce a smile, like a lemon tree produces a lemon. Mine is very little, a green button that probably wouldn't give juice, but it is pride on my canopy and already I feel life connecting toe to head, earth to heavens. I imagine I grow into a tree where the birds can live and let go. Then I fall asleep peacefully. When I wake up the blue tit is out of my thorax.